- stay happy and stay happy and stay happy - a low guy is vulnerable

- assume confidently that you had and have the best love life.

- If you avoided casual relationships you are fortunate for look at the world; the vast majority of those are unhappy so you haven't missed - you gained!

- If you are in a observant Jewish relationship imbued with true Jewish values it is likely that you have a much better relationship and love life than most people on the planet. Now that's something.

- focus on having (or learning for marriage about ) a great relationship with your wife; a relationship of real and deep respect is very powerful

- The kabbalist and composer of L'cha Dodi R'Shlomo Alkabetz zt'l writes that the herb henna "gives one self-control and peace of mind; he is not attracted to lustful desires" (Ayeles Ahavim Ch.1). You can dissolve henna in water and drink it every morning on an empty stomach - it will also remedy excessive perspiration (source the Torah book on healing: Natures Wealth p.141). Note Henna is safe for most people - countless Sephardim have used it for centuries for Henna nights before weddings (now you know the wisdom behind this custom - consider it). But be careful: my research turned up these findings: 1)allergic reactions to Henna are rare. 2)However, those who have a G6PD deficinecy which is an inherited blood type should NOT use Henna as it may cause chas veshalom severe problems or even chas veshalom death. Obviously if you suspect you may have that blood type get yourself tested before consuming or using henna - see G6PD websites or ask you doctor for more information. Likewise if you have any other concerns speak to a qualified doctor. Still, for everyone else I recommend henna I have happily taken henna the last week and baruch hashem it has worked as promised! Make sure you buy pure henna - henna hair dye may have other stuff in it you don't want to eat. I got pure henna at the spice shop in the Bucharian Shuk (in the Beit Israel neighbourhood) in Jerusalem.

- immerse your head in Talmud and halacha - if you do this you won't be able to think of anything else while you are learning

- if you feel lust chanel the energy into doing a kosher chesed. I don't have proof to hand but I read once that forbidden relations (lo aleinu) stem from misplaced chesed. Chanel that energy into doing a chesed for someone (especially your wife) - it will make you feel all nice and warm inside!

- realise that the extremely vast majority of porn is manufactured - there extremely little 'true' pictures and even those involve bad traits. Realise that porn is all made up and is actually very nasty and disgusting as apprent from the swear words they use. Realise porn involves a lot of suffering and human degradation. Realise porn is nothing like a relationship with a real woman.

- realise the western media is overflowing false evil complete rubbish about unbelieveable instant relationships and instant incredible love-making. The truth is (obviously if you think about it) that like everything else top quality great relationships and great love-making take a lot of time effort, thought, trial and error, and quality input. Yes gentlemen, we are talking years and serious dedication here! But it's worth it - choose a wife wisely and you'll have the best years of your life.

- realise that if after having done teshuva and tikkunim you slip chas veshalom, you are still on a higher level than before. For get the slip. Keep going - never ever give up getting up - and with Hashem's mighty help you'll get there! You owe this to yourself for eternity - that's big time serious.

-Don't feel guilt - guilt is I think a trap of the yetzer. When you have achieved some solid achievments of basic teshuva and tikkunm and separation from filth for some time, and feel strong, then is the time to cry to benefit your soul. Never ever leap levels.

- plug yourself into a Torah learning programme you like with others - you'll really benefit in many ways.

- limit computer use - for example lock your computer in a storage room when you are not using it for business.

- pray; go to an empty private room and scream to Hashem for help!

- pray for other guys to be shomer brit