How do people cope with pain? Destructive sexual behavior often comes from deep-down emotional hurt sustained from harmful relationships as a child. This article discusses how repression as a child can come up later and destroy a person's adult life.

According to conventional psychology, recovery from family trauma requires facing the past, working through the emotions, grieving loss, and unmasking the lie of shame. The task is best approached with medical, spiritual, and counseling direction. Failure to rectify these emotions will result in continued distress and make a person vulnerable to the deceptive emotional relief found in addictions.

Most people who have experience helping people get back their self control say that the most important step by far is finding a Rebbe who can understand what your soul needs and help pick you up.  The Rebbe need not be a Gadol HaDor, but should be someone whose holiness is universally recognized, and who will have the time to give you the attention you need.

This article, from a non-Jewish source, discusses some of the psychological barriers people face that can prevent them from seeking help from an expert.  

most of us want to hide that broken part of us in the back closet of our lives, away from prying eyes, ridicule, and embarrassment. While this is a natural reaction, it is not a healthy one. You should try to identify and use every tool that will help you heal and recover.

A great article about how Internet pornography ruins lives.